its like a Jewel song but no one remembers who that is

[brokeassgoing]

Who: The Shrieking Shits brokeassgoing and Bark at the Poon reachingfangs
Where: the stinkiest car known to man is that a stain of mayonnaise or something worse on the seat
When: now


]Whose bright idea was this trip? You know how they say it isn't the destination, its the journey? And then when they (whoever the fuck those bozos are) switch it up and say its the destination that counts? They obviously didn't think of the modern road trips between families, friends, and whatever the fuck Badou and Renji are.]

Change it. If I gotta listen to one more crooning song about drinking and beating off with guitar strings cause their wife left 'em I'm gonna shart, right here. Right now.

[its only been a few hours and its off to a wonderful start.]

Comments

[reachingfangs]

[ Well an hour and a half doesn't sound so bad. Still terrible, but survivable (hopefully). Renji rolls his shoulders, half shrug and half more limbering up. ]

Lucky. That's about how much longer I can stand this too.

[ All the kinks worked out, Renji turns to Badou, leans against the body of the car. ]

So where do we get the funyuns?

[brokeassgoing]

[finally dropping his hands to his sides, that cheeky grin doesn't diminish.]

Nooowww...we raid the vending machines. C'mon, they're probably across the lot.

[without a backwards glance he starts towards the bigger building of the restful rest stop.]

[reachingfangs]

Hm. Sure.

[ He's come to accept that hanging around down here comes hand in hand with hearing a bunch of confusing nonsense terminology like "vending machine" and just assuming he'll figure it out eventually. So he follows Badou as he heads over to the larger building, walking just behind him with an eye on his hands as he sifts through the bills in his wallet. ]

So how many can I get for... fifty dollars?

[ ...okay apparently the kan conversion rate is insane. ]

[brokeassgoing]

[his eye practically bulges out of his head when he hears him say that and
as much as he wants to get Renji to spend all of that




hes not a complete asshole]

Just gimmie a couple ones, man, we'll get like...four bags.

[reachingfangs]

[ Renji's well-placed trust in Badou saves him and his broke (???) ass yet again. He pulls out all the ones on his person and places the rest of the bills in his wallet, pocketing the whole thing. Four sounded like a lot of bags but... well he had managed to work up a big road appetite. ]

[ Following Badou into the building, he takes in his first ever rest stop. A couple nondescript fast food joints to their immediate left, a kitsch tourist trap store across from it, a row of black boxes line either side of the wall. Washrooms are indicated at the far end. Renji looks around with mild fascination. ]

Was this place made just for humans to take a break from being in the car?

[brokeassgoing]

It's the American dream, man. The American dream.

[Seeing Renji's fascination almost makes Badou proud for no reason other than he's the first to show him this whole new world. Grinning, he saunters right up to the vending machines right there in the back and squints, looking for the funyuns.]

Ah! Here.

[reachingfangs]

[ Renji follows a couple paces behind, not sure what exactly he expected when he heard "vending machine" but this thing full of snacks just sitting out in the open is definitely not it. He examines it, a little underwhelmed. It looked like a store without a person attending it. ]

This?

[ Renji steps a little closer, looks at the selection inside. None of it looks familiar, as he expected, but his curiosity about the... machine and its various brightly coloured packages is evident on his face. ]

...Are these things real strong or something? How come nobody's broken into it?

[brokeassgoing]

[his grin doesn't falter in the least. He taps it with his knuckles, then lifts that hand to point at the cameras around the area.]

That's why. No one wants a state trooper up their ass. It's just glass, simple enough, but we got law abiding citizens around here.