its like a Jewel song but no one remembers who that is

[brokeassgoing]

Who: The Shrieking Shits brokeassgoing and Bark at the Poon reachingfangs
Where: the stinkiest car known to man is that a stain of mayonnaise or something worse on the seat
When: now


]Whose bright idea was this trip? You know how they say it isn't the destination, its the journey? And then when they (whoever the fuck those bozos are) switch it up and say its the destination that counts? They obviously didn't think of the modern road trips between families, friends, and whatever the fuck Badou and Renji are.]

Change it. If I gotta listen to one more crooning song about drinking and beating off with guitar strings cause their wife left 'em I'm gonna shart, right here. Right now.

[its only been a few hours and its off to a wonderful start.]

Comments

[brokeassgoing]

[that's rude because they're already dealing with Renji and Skwad. This wouldn't be too much more to-- okay that's a lie.

He also stares right back; the sense of life? philosophical or revolving around spreading shit on the walls??

It's almost peaceful if they hadn't almost died and it didn't smell like socks and jockstraps in here. Corn...when will that happen? Where is the Corn?

Renji's question gives him pause. He needs to do this right.]

The clitoris.

[reachingfangs]

[ It takes him a second, but after that Renji moves to smush the side of Badou's face with his open palm, maybe bang his head on the car's frame. Although for all his glaring at the non-answer he's smirking at the same time. ]

Maybe a mystery to you, moron.

[brokeassgoing]

[despite smacking his head a little Badou laughs, way too loudly, barking like the mutt he is.]

No way in hell. I'm not the dead virgin, man.

[reachingfangs]

[ Okay Renji's gonna just. Smack his head again. The rudeness from this infant. ]

What, you think a living virgin's any better?

[ Well maybe for sacrificing into volcanoes, which Renji might well do if the great fire god would free him from this stank ass vehicle. ]

[brokeassgoing]

WATCH IT OR GET REKTED!

[he turns his head and nips at Renji's hand, or the air, probably.]

Do you know any? Friends of yours? Those kids? That's gross, man.

[reachingfangs]

[ Badou's teeth just about graze Renji's palm and for a moment he's so aghast he doesn't say anything. Then explodes. ]

I'm talking 'bout you and your damn needs-to-be-muzzled ass, obviously!!

[brokeassgoing]

[look at this innocent face]

Look man just cause no one'll do kinky shit with you doesn't mean I stayed a virgin.

[reachingfangs]

[ what innocent face all he sees is mockery and lies. ]

I told you I ain't— Oi, what makes you think I'm into kinky shit in the first place!!

[brokeassgoing]

[THIS INCREDIBLY INNOCENT YOUNG FACE]

One word: nipple tats. Alright, two words.

[reachingfangs]

[ THAT INCREDIBLY RUDE ASS NOSY FACE ]

I DON'T HAVE TATS ON MY NIPPLES!

[brokeassgoing]

[its a wonderful face don't lie

also this is the face of someone who believes you]

Sure, Jan.

[reachingfangs]

[ Well this is the face of a dude who is sick of looking at that other dude's stupid making a mockery out of him face.

This is also the face of a dude taking his shirt off. ]

[brokeassgoing]

What are you doing.

[reachingfangs]

Even if I say I don't have 'em you're gonna keep going on about it, so.

[ As if this is all perfectly logical, Renji shrugs off his coat, then pops off his shirt. ]

[reachingfangs]

See. No nipple tats.

[brokeassgoing]

[a hum of consideration]

They'd probably fall off if you tried. You gonna try?

[reachingfangs]

[ He shivers at the very graphic thought of his nipples falling off and he crosses his arms, as if to protect the pepperoni twins from hearing such suggestions. ]

Hell no. I'm pretty much done with this, anyway.

[ Gestures at his ink-covered torso. ]

[brokeassgoing]

[disgusting...]

Really? I woulda thought you had your ass left at least.

[reachingfangs]

[ like Badou has any room to talk............

but Renji mistakes that for genuine curiosity and so actually considers his answer. ]

Nah, don't think I want a needle near my ass.

[ He looks Badou over, though. ]

How 'bout you. You hiding any tats?

[brokeassgoing]

[currently the number of folks thinking about getting their dicks tattoo'd here is: one

nose wrinkled, he shakes his head]

Fuck no! I hate pain. I don't want anything like that forever...

[reachingfangs]

[ To be fair he thought about it and then rejected the idea. He's not gonna pay a dude to poke his dick with sharp things when he gets that at work for free.

But at what Badou says, Renji's gaze falls on his eyepatch, his hand on the wheel. Then he shrugs his shirt back on. ]

Yeah it ain't exactly for everybody. Expensive as shit, first of all.

[brokeassgoing]

[wow what a noble steed Renji is. thinking about his other coworkers and his dick's relationship.

his own gaze flickers to his hand.]

Some of us have gotta use that cash to live instead.

[reachingfangs]

[ Renji tilts his chin up, a sign of silent agreement. If there was anything he and Badou had in common besides recessive hair genes, it was that #hustle life.

Slants a dubious look tho. ]

You need smokes to live?

[brokeassgoing]

[slants that look right back]

Probably. If I stop I'll more'n likely drop dead.

[reachingfangs]

Sure you will.

[ In spite of his skeptical tone, Renji does seem mildly alarmed, eyes widening a little, eyebrows raising. ]

...How many you got on ya right now?

[ Is he gonna have to bury him in a ditch on the side of the freeway if this trip goes on much longer is what he's asking. ]